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Riding the Big Spook

After about 8 weeks of time off while a broken finger healed I finally got to take my Golden Boy, aka Levi, out for a ride! He hadn’t been out for all that time and we were with a new horse and the leaves were very dry and crunchy. Also a terrifying gang of squirrels were creeping along among the leaves, suddenly dropping down into them, on purpose, scaring the new horse out of her mind… and into Golden Boy from behind.

The first time this chain reaction happened Levi leaped forward! This caused me to clamp my legs around him and then grab his mouth. I know, right? Talk about mixed messages! I forgot I had put spurs on, with which I gouged him forward during the chaos of the Big Spook.

I took them off and the next spook was less dramatic and the third time the new mare ran up behind him all wild eyed he simply pinned his ears and shuddered.

All this to say that he spooked big and I didn’t fall off!

It was a miracle.

I didn’t have any kind of seat: horse talk for independent balance on the horse, and still only had one good hand to correct the sudden surge forward I inadvertently demanded with the forgotten spurs. I stayed on by way of an involuntary reaction. My legs clamped around him and my gut jumped with him.

I didn’t plan the defensive response or take action on purpose.

It happened because my body has been trained to stay with the horse over years of riding and it defaulted to that.

This phenomenon happens in my faith too. After years of knowing God, following Jesus and listening intently for the Holy Spirit to speak, my spirit finally defaults to truth in times of sudden trauma.

I’m so grateful for the payoff that years of daily devotions, intense study and determined memorization and meditation on the Word has afforded me!

I have friends who are just so on top of their game on a horse or in the Word that they think quickly, interpret accurately, and apply efficiently in an instant. I admire these people, but that’s not how I operate. I’m slow to read the signs, of a spook, or a spiritual dilemma, often can’t remember the last lesson I learned that would help in the moment of crisis, and fumble with how to apply what I do remember in times of high stress.

After the fact I can sit down and evaluate though. I can see what went wrong, what I knew I should have done and how it would have turned out differently. So I’ve used hind sight to prepare myself for future spooks/dilemmas to sort of set myself up for the right response by rote.

I’ve taken hundreds of hours of instruction on a horse. So many hours that I can hear my trainer saying, ‘Heels down, long legs, eyes up.’, even when she is now on the other side of the United States.

That is the posture of safety on a horse in almost any situation. The posture my body wants to adopt in a moment of crisis is the fetal position. My legs want to curl up against my body and I want to duck my head and cover it, like a baby!

“When I was a child, I acted as a child…” 1 Corinthians 13: 11

Spiritually I’d like to cover my head and curl up against the raging tides of error and sin too! I would love to deny that there is a newly launched internal attack on the holiness of the Body of Christ wherein our personal accountability to live righteously is considered archaic and confession of sin and repentance are frowned upon as old fashioned. But I know the Truth and He knows me. I can’t pretend with Him that I’m cool and ‘relevant’ in the world.

I am not cool.

I’m a nerd.

The kid that the teacher in every class room I’ve ever graced knew she had to keep close to her desk to keep me focused and out of trouble.

I can be trained, however. Thankfully at my age I’ve learned to instruct and correct myself. Sometimes even in time to avoid offending others… not always, but sometimes.

“When I grew up I had to do away with childish reactions…” 1Corinthians 13:11

 

I know the right thing to do know and it’s disobedience not to do it.

I’ve forced my legs down around a spooking horse and kept my eyes up in-spite of my natural inclination to look down and ‘pick a spot’, enough times that the right response has finally over ridden the natural response. Praise God.

I’m in a stage of my spiritual life right now when sometimes I not only have to plant my feet in the Word of God and look opposition in the eye, I sometimes have to speak against popular opinion.

It never goes over well.

Sometimes I offend people because my timing is bad and my delivery is worse. But the truth in the face of the flesh is often not happily received.

I do it for the same reason I demand obedience from my body on a lurching horse. I need to stay safe, and the horse must not get away with disobedience. Otherwise his magnificent innocence can become treacherous.

 

I was wondering how I stayed on the other day when Golden Boy spooked. I thought through what I should have done and realized that I did the right thing without thinking.

I’m going to say that again because it’s such a phenomenon.

I did the right thing WITHOUT THINKING.

This is where the miracle part comes in.

When I’m surrendered to God, He is active and moves me in the right direction! When I’m in trouble or just having a blond/grey moment, He comes to my rescue! He triggers in me the response that I’ve been training for, but can’t quite reach in an instant!

He is my Hero.

He, who calms raging waters, commands the wind and sun and moon and stars, speaks worlds into existence and sustains life with a thought, has time to remind me and enable me to do the right thing in my moments of need. Even when I may have orchestrated my own chaos!

 

Thank You, Jesus!

 

 

 

Ugly Resistance or Lovely Obedience?

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Today I read in Judges Chapter Two about how God swore to Israel’s fathers saying, ‘I will never break My covenant with you.’ In light of that promise He required that Israel not make any covenant (agreement or contract) with the inhabitants of the land. But Israel didn’t listen to His voice. So He didn’t drive out the inhabitants before them and those nations became thorns in Israel’s side and their gods become a snare to God’s people.

After Joshua and his generation passed away, there arose a generation who didn’t know the LORD, nor the work which He had done for Israel. This generation did evil in the sight of the LORD and served the Baals and forsook the LORD, the God of their fathers. They bowed down to the gods of the people, provoking the LORD to anger. The anger of the LORD burned against His beloved Israel and He gave them into the hands of their enemies, they couldn’t stand before their enemies anymore.

Israel fell even further away from God and refused to listen to the Judges that the LORD raised up to deliver them from their self-inflicted slavery to their enemies. They played the harlot after other gods and quickly deserted the way of obedience to the LORD.

They whined and cried because of the oppression and affliction under heartless slave masters and the LORD, moved to pity, delivered them… but as soon as they got a little relief they turned back to the Baals and acted even more corruptly than their fathers.

The chapter ends with the LORD leaving the nations to test Israel to see if they would keep the way of the LORD or not.

I saw this lesson play out while riding my horse, Levi. I simply asked him to go in a straight line, not popping his shoulders out defensively or swinging his hips in. It’s hard for him, but he can do it. All horses are made to work for man and I’m not asking him to do anything beyond his ability. When he does what I ask I take all pressure off of him and we even stop and stand for a while. That’s his favorite! But Levi consistently goes back to self-protection. He ‘feels’ unbalanced and unsure, so he goes back to a place of disobedience that feels familiar to him. It causes him to work many more circles, giving me the same wrong answer many times until he stumbles upon the right one again and the pressure stops and he gets to be still for a few minutes.

Levi is a perfect lab or field trip for me in the school of God! If I will just do what I know is right: trust God with my circumstances and love Him with my whole heart, regardless of how insecure I feel initially, everything falls into proper balance in my life. The pressure is off and I can be still for a minute.

Eventually Levi will learn to string together more and more right answers and we’ll work together beautifully one day. I won’t break my agreement with Levi: to meet his needs and love him, but I won’t take the pressure off of him until he offers the right answer almost every time either.

That’s the reality of our new covenant with God. When we become His, He levies more torque in our lives to give the right answers. Because He loves us and wants our highest good, I don’t think He’ll settle for a half-hearted effort to follow Him! He wants us attentive and willing, just like I’m asking Levi to be!

1 Corinthians 10:11 &13 says, “Now these things happened to them (Israel) as an example, and they were written for our instruction… No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man: and GOD IS FAITHFUL, He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will provide the way of escape so that you will be able to endure it whenever you are tempted.”

The way of escape from distress, affliction and oppression is to repent from stiffening our shoulders against God’s gentle direction and return to willing obedience. Listening to God so as to do what He’s says is the key.To hear Him we need to be near Him, paying close attention to Him. Not drifting aimlessly or back sliding, but purposefully following His lead.

 

 

 

 

Horsin’ Around

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Horsin’ Around

 

I want to talk about horses today.

I recently watched six hours of the 2011 Badminton Horse Trial won by Mark Todd riding NZB Land Vision. Badminton is the biggest horse trial of its kind. It’s held at Badminton Park, in Gloucestershire, England. While it’s conducted in a park it is the furthest thing from a walk in the park you can get!

Phase one is Dressage which requires obedience, discipline, accuracy and elegance. Phase two is cross country jumping, which included jumping pickup trucks! and is about 4 miles long, to give you a reference. It requires fitness, athleticism and tremendous courage. Then after two days of being careful one day then going all out the next, phase three is stadium jumping. Those jumps are ‘only’ 4’1” and there are only about 15 of them, but this is the real test of agility, endurance and accuracy. Every horse was willing to go forward and jump high on tired legs and worn out minds.

Every day requires trust between horse and rider, which is only borne of consistency and fairness. But, as with any race, it is the last day that makes or breaks you.

 

It was touching to watch Mark Todd, whom the commentators affectionately refer to as ‘Toddy’ win the event 31 years after his first win on Southern Comfort III in 1980. He won it in 1994 on Horton Point and in 1996 on Bertie Blunt, which shows a long discipline in the same field. He sets a good example of commitment for us in life, whether we’re trying to keep up with the Christ, write the great American Novel or just keep our lives between the lines.

 

Look at some of the words this event calls for: obedience, discipline, accuracy, fitness, courage, willingness, endurance and elegance.

 

Don’t you want to have that kind of faith?

I do!

These horses range in age from 10 to 18 years old and have been in training for years and years to reach this level. They’ve shown that they have talent. Range or scope over fences, willingness and attentiveness in dressage, and cleverness and agility in the stadium jumping are requirements. Some horses have more talent than others, but the ones with heart or courage always rise to the top, regardless of talent.

As Christians we all have gifts, but the truth that runs through both of these disciplines is that it takes heart to be effective in each case.

No matter how long we’ve been in training, that last mile is going to wear us out, and then we still have a test of accuracy the next day!

The horses don’t know that they’ll have to perform the next day. They lay it all out on the field every day. Hmm.

Good lesson number 1,001 I have learned from the noble equine.

Save nothing for yourself.

Give it all on the field of your faith to your Master.

In dressage the very fit horse needs to yield willingly to light aides from the rider. Not running through a restraining hand or ignoring a forward nudge with the leg.

Remind you of anyone?

In cross country the horse is invited to gallop freely and jump boldly, but still it’s the Master who directs the course and sets the pace.

In stadium jumping the horse must come back to more collection and attentiveness to navigate jumps that come to him quicker and fall quite easily.

 

In my life with Christ dressage is the toughest phase for me. I’m always rushing ahead or lagging stubbornly behind. I’m learning to be more attentive to correction and to move a little more quickly when nudged forward. I’ve learned from the horse that willing submission to the Master, who knows the test, is truly a beautiful thing to behold.

I want to be beautiful with Him!

 

Thank you for letting me use this analogy! I know my equine friends have been literally champing at the bit from the horsey lingo. While those of you who don’t yet understand the glory of the raw, innocent power of the horse may feel like you’ve been watching paint dry! Don’t worry, in Christ, you’ll ride your own white horse one day!

The Word

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One of my favorite things about Jesus is His Word. I love it because it remains the same. Within the 66 books, you can find History, Genealogy, Poetry, Proverbs, Prophets, Gospels, Old Letters and Revelation!
There are warnings, instructions, parables, mystery and promises.
In this single manuscript you can read about the rich history of God with His people, figure out His current involvement with us and see the hope of His future return to dwell with us again.
This one volume is chock full of romance, drama, adultery, murder, remorse, shattered dreams, unmerited favor and prosperity, epic wars and utterly unconditional love.
Not the kind of love we practice, where I’ll love you as long as you do what I consider right in our relationship.
God’s love is without condition. No if’s or buts. Just an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

And in all theses books, filled with delicious words, not one single letter is there by accident. Not one stroke needs edited, not on jot will ever pass away. (1 Peter 2:25)

God is the quintessential writer, Wordsmith Friends.
He’s the one to watch for how it’s done! Talk about succinct story telling!

One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 3:16-17. It says, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”

All means all.
All Scripture will benefit us.

Another favorite is 2 Peter 1:20-21. “But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, for no prophecy is made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.”

His message doesn’t change with the times and He isn’t influenced by popular culture.
He says in Malachi 3:6, “I, the LORD, do not change.”
And He echos this statement in Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.”
God is who He says He is.
The assurance of the unchanging nature of God is something I cling to for dear life. I find great comfort in the Sure Thing that the ‘I Am’ is.

The uniqueness of God’s Word is amazing. In Hebrews 4:12 the Word is referred to as ‘living and active’.

God’s words are alive and do take action in our hearts and minds unlike any other literature because they are born on the breath of the Living God. God’s Word burns in our hearts like fire and can shatter wrong thinking like a hammer (Jeremiah 23:29)… if we cooperate with Him.
If we refuse to be of one mind with God, it can just feel like heartburn and broken dreams.
I’ve been to both schools and I much prefer inspiration and correction to burning and shattering!!!

These words change the hearts of men, because they will always lead us to the heart of God.

The closing argument for my crazy obsession with the Word of God is found in John 1:1 & 14, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God… and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we saw His glory, the glory of the One and Only who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

The Word of God can’t be separated from the mouth of God which breaths it.

I pray Jesus Himself will begin “… with Moses and all the Prophets and explain to you what is said in all the Scriptures concerning Himself.” (Luke 24:27) and that your “hearts will burn within you while He talks with you and opens the Scriptures to you”!!! (Luke 23:32)

Belonging

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I have a lot of words and I feel like I should use them! So I thought I would try blogging. Kristen Lamb, social media expert, says a successful blog is about something you love and that other people love too.
Well
I.
Love.
Jesus!
I love His Word, His ways, His history, His voice and His creation.

I guess the best place to start is at the beginning of my relationship with Jesus. In October of 1982 I stumbled into a Josh McDowell conference called, ‘Evidence That Demands a Verdict’. By stumbled I mean a good Baptist friend, (She was a good Baptist, but I barely knew her) drug me to it. On the third day of the conference I went forward and put my name in a box.

That was the day I understood and believed.
My soul, my emotional being, heard Him call my name and my body just got up and walked all the way down from the nose bleed section of the Portland, Oregon Coliseum. I put my sloppily filed out form with the, ‘I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior today’ square checked in a box by the stage.

I was miraculously changed that day.
It was a miracle.
Seriously.
Until that day I had never felt like I belonged. I mean, I have a wonderful family. They love me. But I’ve always felt different from everyone, through no fault of anyone. I just am different.
Yes, weird different!
Like when I was standing up there at the top of the Portland Coliseum, my mind kept flashing back to the last time I’d been there, enjoying an ‘Aerosmith’ concert. Maybe the memory of Steven Tyler screaming, “Walk this way!” encouraged me to get up and walk that aisle!
Wouldn’t that be a hoot, for the Almighty God to use a hard-core rocker to bring me to Himself?

So began the awkward balance of believing God and weighing what man tells me about Him.

It’s been a long hard 29 years for God with me. While I was irrevocably changed that day from mine to His, my stubborn nature and selfish pride have provided constant training grounds for Him. But He has never once given up on me.
There have been times in the last three decades that I’ve stopped clinging to Him and gone my own way for a season. But no matter how badly I blow it, when I get over myself and turn back to Him, He is running after me with open arms.

I’m His.
I’m not especially good or bad. I don’t have a great story to tell. I don’t possess any spectacular gifts or beauty. I’m not particularly strong or consistent.
The only thing remarkable about me is that I belong to Jesus.

He will never leave me alone or forsake me.
He likes different!

The Voice

Since I’ve already confessed that I’m weird, I’ll go ahead and admit that I hear voices. I know, the men in white coats are at the door waiting to take me away.

But be honest. Don’t you hear the voice of your mother every time you pick up a pair of scissors with the intention of running with them, ‘You’ll poke an eye out!’?

I heard God say my name when I was in Catholic school, outside the church around 1969.

I ran.

It scared me! I was utterly carnal at the ripe ole age of 11 or 12. I had no Scriptural knowledge about Him and I guess I just thought, as my good little Irish mother always said, ‘God will get you.’

I had no idea that being ‘gotten’ by God was a good thing! Besides, running is my default.

Then, maybe because I ran into the arms of excess and dissipation, I didn’t hear Him again for years…

In recent years I’ve heard Jesus say, “You are Mine.”, when I asked Him who I was; and “I know.”, when I was relentlessly nagging Him about a friend having some health issues; and He said “What did I say?”, when I was high centered on a doctrinal issue that some Super Saints were hammering me with at the time. I’ve also heard the clear instruction, “Write.”

Those are some of the times that I’m sure it was Him. I hear other voices too. The aforementioned Mother’s voice; teacher’s I’ve had over the years, the voice of the world (usually lying or exaggerating) and the voice of the enemy (always lying and twisting the truth).  I’ve heard God sharply, ‘Shhh!’ one of those other voices on my behalf. What a treasured memory. I hope I never forget how deeply moved I was that He came to my rescue like that.

Since I’ve been writing fiction, I hear the voices of my characters sometimes, moving the story along.

Come on, there are other writers out there who know what I’m talking about, right?

The difference between weird and crazy is the ability or willingness to differentiate between the voices and take responsibility for them.

Since I know I have a wildly active imagination, I need to be sure to fill my mind and heart with the Truth and rely on the written Word. My imaginings, other people’s input, even what I consider my truth: who I am, why I am how I am, and my opinions, all have to take a back seat to The Truth. The Truth always, every time so far in almost thirty years, without fail has boiled down to the person of Jesus Christ. We can talk theology and doctrines and share our experiences all day long and we may be moved and inspired. But until we talk about Jesus Christ, we will remain unchanged.

I am committed to listening to the voice of God, so as to believe Him and act accordingly when the situation warrants action.

To stay in training I employ a three-fold assault on the Word of God, daily.

Observation: What does the text say?

Interpretation: What does He mean?

Application: How does what I’ve learned apply to my life today?

My purpose for this blog is to write about what I observe, my interpretation and how I intend to apply it, and to hone my writing skills in the process. It would be icing on the cake to find some like-minded people who want to talk about God and His Word!

Are you out there?